The Adoptee's Guide to DNA Testing: How to Use Genetic Genealogy to Discover Your Long-Lost Family - Softcover

Weinberg, Tamar

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1440353379 ISBN 13: 9781440353376

Publisher: Family Tree Books, 2018

Synopsis

Reconnect with your roots! Adoptees, foundlings, and others with unknown parentage face unique challenges in researching their ancestors. Enter this book: a comprehensive guide to adoption genealogy that has the resources you need to find your family through genetic testing.

Inside, you'll find:

• Strategies for connecting your genealogy to previous genealogists
• Detailed guides for using DNA tests and tools, plus how to analyze your test results and apply them to research
• Real-life success stories that put the book's techniques into practice and inspire you to seek your own discoveries

About this title

About the Author

Tamar Weinberg (New Rochelle, NY) www.tamarweinberg.com is a writer, web manager and marketing consultant who wrote The New Community Rules.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

The Adoptee's Guide to DNA Testing

How to Use Genetic Genealogy to Discover Your Long-Lost Family

By Tamar Weinberg, Andrew Koch

F+W Media, Inc.

Copyright © 2018 Tamar Weinberg
All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-4403-5337-6

Contents

Foreword by Kitty Munson Cooper, 6, 
Introduction, 8, 
PART ONE: Your Journey Begins Here, 
1 Getting Started With Your Search, 13, 
2 Proven Search Strategies (That Don't Involve DNA), 21, 
3 The Basics of DNA Testing, 33, 
PART TWO: DNA Tests and Testing Companies, 
4 Types of DNA, 44, 
5 AncestryDNA, 62, 
6 Family Tree DNA, 76, 
7 23andMe, 98, 
8 MyHeritage DNA, 113, 
PART THREE: Advanced Tools, 
9 Establishing a Biological Connection, 124, 
10 Analyzing Your DNA with GEDmatch, 135, 
11 Triangulating Your DNA Data, 167, 
PART FOUR: Case Studies, 
Donna, 187, 
Izak, 190, 
Jack, 192, 
Kalani, 195, 
Kelly, 201, 
Marcy, 206, 
Sue, 210, 
Appendix Frequently Asked Questions, 214, 
Appendix Worksheets, 224, 
Index, 228, 

CHAPTER 1

Getting Started with Your Search

Perhaps you've known all your life that you were adopted. Perhaps you recently discovered that you were adopted. Perhaps you just feel that you're out of place within your family dynamic and you remain unconvinced that your birth parents are truly your birth parents. Perhaps you'll take a DNA test and find out that you aren't who you always thought you were.

You may have asked many questions along the way. After all, we all want to know where we came from. Do I have brothers or half-brothers? Do I have sisters or half-sisters? Aunts? Uncles? What were they like? What were my grandparents like? What is my real ethnicity? Are there medical issues of which I should be aware? It is human nature to want understand where you come from and what your family situation is. And asking "Who am I, and where do I come from?" is perfectly natural and reasonable.

Most people seek birth families — despite all of these questions — to help fill a void. Many need a sense of closure to address the gaping hole in their hearts. They often seek relationships with new family members, while not throwing away the relationships that preceded them. Doing so doesn't change the past or unravel the threads that have nurtured them — nor, likely, do they want it to. Their intentions are almost always pure, and most don't want to disrupt a birth family that has since moved on.

The desire to learn more about birth families can affect anyone touched by adoption, from an adopted child seeking his genetic ancestors to the parent who had to give up her child and wants to reconnect. Perhaps a sibling wants to find a child given up under less-than-ideal circumstances, an individual knows he has a long-lost half-sibling, or a man suspects a one-night stand resulted in a baby. Or maybe you've discovered the man who raised you isn't your birth father, which is called a non-paternity event (NPE).

Regardless of who or why, someone might be curious and wants to know what became of the human being who was brought into the world and put into another family's arms. Or, from the adoptee's perspective, wants to know who his parents and other family members are. Some just want an answer to the question, "Why?"

To find these important answers, many adoptees and families involved in adoption have come to rely upon various tools and tactics, and technology has evolved into a multitude of resources. In less than a decade, DNA tests have become relatively affordable for the general public. These new tests have amazing, highly accurate features to help you find birth relatives, including databases of matches, ethnicity information, and (on some tests) statistics about how your genetics compare with those who share DNA with you. Better yet, these tests are widely available and boast databases of millions of people, many of whom are also looking for clues about their own families.

At time of publication, four major players (AncestryDNA , 23andMe , Family Tree DNA , and MyHeritage DNA ) have cornered this market, but more and more companies are following suit and offering similar services that enable test-takers to establish fairly accurate relationships. In fact, DNA science will likely, in time, advance so far that you're able to take and process a test from the comfort of your own home.

Before the advent of genealogy companies, researchers had to resort to finding information through an adoption agency or birth certificate, two imperfect sources that we'll discuss in more detail in chapter 2. Name changes or fabricated/inaccurate information can corrupt these resources, providing false information. With these traditional methods, one's success was a matter of searching — perhaps with the help of a licensed investigator, a phone book, and certified mail. However, a person could be unlisted in the phone book, or he moved and failed to update his contact information.

Modern technology such as social media has made these conventional methods somewhat more accessible, but even these have significant drawbacks. The person you're looking for may not have an online presence, or perhaps he rarely updates it and won't receive a message. And even if you do find relevant information, it may not provide the answers you need. The possibilities go on and on.

This is exactly why so many who have been involved in the adoption process have turned to publicly available resources such as DNA testing. No matter what you know about your birth family's history, DNA doesn't lie. If you can document a relationship through DNA (and you draw the correct conclusions from your results), you can usually trust it more than any paper trail you have.

However, the information at your fingertips can be overwhelming. Not every DNA test is the same, and each DNA website has its own pros and cons. How do I decipher my results, and how can I make sense of the data to establish a relationship? What happens if the connections aren't so strong? How accurate are these services? What should I expect? Is my data safe and secure in the hands of a third party?

Those questions, my friend, are why we are here. This book will walk you through how to sift through these questions to find your birth family using DNA. But first, let's discuss what you can realistically expect to discover in your research.

Why Should I Test my DNA?

By taking a DNA test, you are enrolling in a database of other test-takers who also want to know more about who they are and where they come from. DNA research is only as strong as the data comprising it, and who takes the test is an important factor in how useful your results will be.

The more people related to your research who test, the better your chances are for finding someone who you may be related to. If you suspect you are adopted or a family member is adopted, test. If you have a genuine curiosity about where you fit in the context of relationships with others, test. And — most of all — if you want to learn your genetic makeup and find family members, test.

Testing more people helps the genetic genealogy community at large as well. By building up a database of test-takers, we can help those who pursue genetic testing for other reasons. Some are interested in health information, for example, and test on sites that provide that context. They may even test on another site and import their data to a third-party website (such as GEDmatch ) to gather whatever health information is available. We'll go into this implementation of DNA data in chapter 3.

Why else do people test their DNA? Many are swayed by the ads they see online and on TV that emphasize the tests' ability to provide ethnicity estimates, or a breakdown of which part(s) of the world your family comes from. While these ads are great at attracting customers to these testing companies, they oversimplify the test's features, and many people don't know just how much other data can be gleaned from a DNA test. Those who do DNA testing for these reasons are generally less interested in reconnecting with DNA relatives, making it difficult for you to establish contact with them.

Another group of DNA testers is interested in genealogy and wants to reconnect with family in some form or another. After all, genetic genealogy is a tremendously useful resource for building a family tree. Some groups, in particular, have more difficulty using DNA than others; we'll go into some of these challenges throughout this book when we touch upon the topic of endogamy, or generations of intermarriage within a community.

Regardless of your intention to test, be willing and able to respond to people who have reached out, whether or not you know the answer to their questions. Those heavily invested in genealogy, myself included, will do whatever they can to help adoptees reconnect with their families. That collaboration is what makes the genetic genealogy community so helpful.

Aligning Expectations

Your results may vary when it comes to DNA testing. A DNA test could almost instantly connect you with an immediate family member, or it could take years before you break the ice and make traction with your search. DNA is a fantastic way to establish a familial relationship, but it is not necessarily a quick process.

For example, a New York woman named Melissa (name changed) wanted to find information about her birth family, who likely was from the American South. Melissa was skeptical of DNA's utility, but she tested anyway on the off-chance that it could provide useful information about her parents. Years later, she had all but given up after not making any research finds — that is, until one day she found a full-sibling match. This woman, another New Yorker, was born eleven months after Melissa and was also adopted. Doctors hypothesize the two are twins given incorrect birth dates. Melissa's original quest (to find her birth parents who she believed to live hundreds of miles away) led to a sister living fifteen minutes away from her in New York. You never know where DNA will take you.

Furthermore, your DNA results may surprise you. For example, my father-in-law (who was not adopted) received a second-cousin match that he swore couldn't be correct; after all, he'd never heard of her before. But after the match confirmed all the parents' and grandparents' names, we found that this woman was, in fact, his second cousin twice removed. We were fortunate that both sides of this equation were willing to share information in order to establish a direct link between unknown cousins. As a result, you should keep an open mind, and consider the ways in which DNA tests can be correct.

Perhaps most important, regardless of whether you test via DNA or not, be open to the possibility that the end result of your research might be unexpected. You may get lucky and match with a like-minded immediate family member who wants to rekindle that lost relationship. But the individuals you're looking for may not yet be in a genetic database, or they might not want to revisit that part of their history. More distant relatives, unaware of the situation, might not want to engage with you or admit that an adoption even occurred in the family. Or perhaps your research uncovers a non-paternity event (e.g., a man turns out to not be the genetic father the family thought he was) that upsets family dynamics.

Needless to say, DNA can unearth unexpected discoveries, and you need to accept this before you begin your journey. You'll never be able to close Pandora's box. In one case I worked on, we learned that the subject's assumed full siblings were actually half siblings — her brother and sister shared the same father, but she had a different father. In other cases, people have discovered half siblings they've never even heard about. It can be frightening to assume you know all about your family line, but the DNA proves otherwise. Some people may need time to process and accept these new genetic relatives (if they're receptive to them at all). As a result, take care when approaching newly discovered genetic relatives. If you find a match, make sense of it before you reach out — throughout this book, you'll learn how.

Discoveries may surprise you and may even disappoint you. You might find an ethnicity you don't especially like, or that someone you hate is actually a distant cousin. Have an open mind and embrace who you are, as your heritage is not something you can control — and your diverse background is actually a beautiful thing!

One viral YouTube video brings the importance of DNA testing to life. Momondo, a global travel search website, created a study in which sixty-seven people from around the world discovered where their genetic heritage comes from . Each was interviewed before learning their results, sharing their affinities for and aversions to different nationalities. When the results came in, not only did they discover unexpected ethnic origins, they also discovered that some of them had family in the room. The video truly encapsulates what you can discover through the pursuit of your heritage.

Before you test, set aside your preconceptions and prepare to embrace your true self and be proud of who you really are. I know I am proud of all the family I've come across in my research, no matter how different they are from me and my ancestors. I can confidently say that my family, like every family, like just about every other, has undergone significant change from generation to generation and from sibling to sibling — religiously, spiritually, and philosophically. I embrace the diversity that defines my family today — though, in all honesty, not everyone in my family does. Still, I wholeheartedly suggest that you prepare to do the same. The results, in many cases, are eye-opening and paint the picture of who you truly are. Let's get started!

CHAPTER 2

Proven Search Strategies (That Don't Involve DNA)

As we mentioned in chapter 1, adoptees and others with unknown parentage often try to search for their family members through more traditional channels before turning to DNA. After all, DNA technology is relatively new, and adoption cases of decades past had to be settled using other means (if they could be settled at all). DNA can help you identify and possibly connect with birth family members, but (if possible in your state) you should potentially look at other pieces of data that might get you there even faster.

So where can you start before consulting DNA? Normally, we begin with what you already know about your birth parents, followed by search engines and social media. These early stages of research could be as easy as finding a birth family member's social media account, but other instances may not be so straightforward.

In this chapter, we'll discuss how to find genealogy records and take advantage of other search strategies before you dive into DNA testing.

Birth Certificates

Birth records are amongst the most important kinds of records in your search, as they can easily connect you with your birth family and provide the missing link to your family history. Your ability to find these records will vary based on where you're searching, as each state has laws regarding access to birth certificates. Some states have loose access policies, while others are more restrictive.

Your birth certificate (image A) will often provide some important pieces of information: your name, your mother's name, and your location and date of birth. Birth certificates for adoptees may not include the father's name, which may be a disappointment for those searching exclusively for their birth fathers. Even so, the information from a birth certificate could be enough to give your research some general direction. Sometimes, information from these records just isn't factual enough to work off of, as we'll learn when we read Kalani's story at the end of this book.

Keep in mind that birth certificates may or may not have the information you need. Not all birth certificates are accurate, adding another potential wrinkle to your research. While this happens only in rare instances, consider the possibility that even birth certificates might not hold all the correct answers you need.

If you were born in a state in which a court petition is required to access your birth certificate, you'll receive either an unredacted birth certificate or an amended birth certificate. The former gives you all the information you need, and some states offer this without restriction. Unfortunately, more states are limited in the information they freely allow adoptees to obtain.

All fifty US states have different laws concerning access to birth certificates. Some simply require you to file a formal request, while others keep these records under lock and key. The map in image B shows three categories of adoption laws as of this book's publication. Red indicates states in which birth certificates are restricted, while yellow represents states that allow individuals to access their records in specific circumstances. Green indicates places in which adoptees can freely access their birth certificates.

Find the latest information regarding adoption and records access laws by state or location at the Adoptee Rights Law Center . The American Adoption Congress also has a chart describing laws by state .

As you might expect, accessing birth certificates from different countries also varies. Check the website for your country's government and/or archives to learn more about its records access.

Adoption Registries

Your state will likely also have an adoption registry where you should enlist yourself. Adoption registries help facilitate possible reunions between birth families, particularly useful in states that have closed adoptions (adoptions in which parental information is withheld). By using these registries, you may be able to obtain additional information about your birth family. They also can provide identifying information where available, non-identifying information, or medical/psychological information. With luck, you may even be able to reunite with family members already looking for you through an adoption registry!

(Continues...)

Excerpted from The Adoptee's Guide to DNA Testing by Tamar Weinberg, Andrew Koch. Copyright © 2018 Tamar Weinberg. Excerpted by permission of F+W Media, Inc..
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Edition details

• Publisher: Family Tree Books
• Publication date: 2018
• ISBN 10: 1440353379
• ISBN 13: 9781440353376
• Binding: Paperback
• Language: English
• Number of pages: 240