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Explosions in the centre of London...Swathes of decent English folk vanishing from trains and buses and never seen again ...And a clue: a lone string of garlic ...Surely this can only mean the centuries-old hush-hush war with France is spiralling towards a dramatic, catastrophic conclusion that could mean the annihilation of England itself! The country's only hope lies with grossly overweight Tube engineer Bill Budgen, whose life takes a bizarre and unwelcome turn when he stumbles upon an absurdly 'British' cabal living beneath the streets of London. Bulldozed into a mission he cannot quite grasp Bill must lead the group in their noble quest to obliterate all things French, along the way seducing Liz Hurley, learning the truth behind the dreaded Eurovision Song Contest, outcharming Tom Cruise, and thoroughly exploiting the group's free bar policy - but no assignment, however perilous, can overshadow that all-important search for the perfect cup of tea...
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