Halving It All: How Equally Shared Parenting Works - Softcover

Deutsch, Francine M.

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0674002091 ISBN 13: 9780674002098

Publisher: Harvard University Press, 2000

Synopsis

Francine Deutsch argues that the best way to have it all - both a full family life and a career - is to halve it all. She comes to this conclusion having interviewed a wide range of couples. Deutsch casts a skeptical eye on the grim story of inequality that has been told since women found themselves working a second shift at home. Using vivid quotations from her interviews, Deutsch tells the story of couples who share parenting equally, and some who don't. The differences between the groups are not in politics, education or class, but in the way each negotiates the large and small issues - from whose paid job is "important" to who applies the sunscreen. With the majority of mothers in the workforce, parents today have to find ways of sharing the work at home. Rigid ideas of "good mothers" and "good fathers", Deutsch argues, can be transformed into a more flexible reality - the good parent.

About this title

Review

Deutsch interviewed 150 dual-earner couples to see how they divvied up child rearing. What she discovered is encouraging. Couples who want to share parenting fifty-fifty can find ways to do so...Deutsch offers a menu of new templates for parenting, forged by couples in her study who fought for equality and won unexpected rewards in the balance."--Megan Rutherford "Time "

This well-constructed text is the result of an equally well-constructed research project funded by the National Science Foundation...Anyone interested in family life will be fascinated with the stories of how families work out the division of labor at home.--Mary Katherine O'Connor "Science Books and Films "

Here we have a refreshing and stimulating change from the many books which bemoan the unequal division of labour in male and female parenting, breadwinning and home-managing. Deutsch, an American professor of psychology, decided to look on the brighter side, search out couples who had actively chosen equally shared parenting and struggled to make it work, and see what, if any, universal lessons could be learned from their varied experiences...Deutsch makes a strong case that we all have more choice than we think....If you have clients dissatisfied with the pattern their parenting takes but say, 'We can't change things because...' (or if you have ever resigned yourself to the status quo with such a thought), this book could open up some liberating possibilities.--Mica Rowanson "The Therapist "

Deutsch's book is an interesting, detailed analysis of couples who share work and family responsibilities, the troubles they encounter in reaching and maintaining this balance, and the steps they've taken to overcome those troubles. Two particular strengths of this book are that Deutsch's sample consists of people from many different occupational levels and backgrounds and, unlike many qualitative studies, her work includes an analysis of parents who do not equally share work and family responsibilities...This is a very well written, methodologically strong, yet readable analysis of a very real social issue today: equal parenting.--L. Wolfer "Choice "

Deutsch's book is a clear and striking example of the importance of qualitative analysis. Through a series of extensive interviews with parents, Deutsch provides us with poignant and honest narratives of parents struggling with how to make equality happen in their daily lives. Each of the eleven chapters relies on interviews to both elucidate and clarify, but it is also these interviews that engage the reader from start to end and allow for a glimpse into the hearts and psyches of the parents.--Patricia Owen-Smith "National Women's Studies Association Journal "

Ten years after delving into the lives of 150 middle class and blue-collar couples, Deutsch has written a book that shatters some popular myths. Halving It All examines various ways couples in the study chose to handle work, parenting, and home.--Diane E. Lewis "Boston Sunday Globe "

If 'having it all'--ie work and motherhood--has lost its appeal, take heart from Francine Deutsch's book. It's about couples who share everything--from the school run to cleaning the hamster's cage.--Essentials

Deutsch's beautifully crafted book sweeps the reader along, making clear to expert and novice alike the findings of her important and rigorous study of current parenting. Her demonstration of how ordinary mothers and fathers can and do share equally their parenting duties is bound to exert a profound influence on conversations about childcare and about gender relations throughout the classrooms, the living rooms, and the boardrooms of contemporary America.--Faye J. Crosby, Professor of Psychology, University of California, Santa Cruz, author of Juggling: The Unexpected Advantages of Balancing Career and Home for Women and Their Families

Deutsch interviewed 150 dual-earner couples, and using real-people examples, shows how equality can exist without magic. By making rational choices, defining and dividing family work, and through a little unbiased negotiating, families can come together as a team instead of fighting it out in an imaginary ring.--New York Daily News

I wanted a book on marriage development. I wanted something that said: Yes, a guy who can't boil water can share child care. Now there finally is such a book, though it's not one of those cheery tomes that says how wonderful it is to share domestic tasks with your husband. Halving It All is about being in the trenches with your spouse. It's about the day-in-day-out negotiation that goes into sharing child care, the challenges and benefits of such arrangements, and why so many couples who set out to parent equally fail to do so...Halving It All is a breath of fresh air and, for a snoop like myself who is interested in other peoples' marriages, great reading.--Jennifer Bingham Hull, "Salon Online "

From the Author

Halving It All shows that equality works.
HALVING IT ALL shows that equality in parenting is not onlypossible, but practical. Yes, there are obstacles to overcome, but the equal sharers I interviewed show that parents can figure out how to work together to get everyone dressed, fed, and out the door happy in the morning. The Dads do their share of tickling, roughhousing,, and watching their kids' sports events, but they also get up at night to soothe infants and leave their jobs as often as their wives to care for sick children. That "motley collection of anecdotes and quotes" came from a diverse group of real families--not just college professors-- but also, secretaries, lawyers, business owners, and mail carriers. Equality works.

Edition details

• Publisher: Harvard University Press
• Publication date: 2000
• ISBN 10: 0674002091
• ISBN 13: 9780674002098
• Binding: Paperback
• Language: English
• Number of pages: 336