The World According to Clarkson

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9780141017891: The World According to Clarkson

Jeremy Clarkson shares his opinions on just about everything in The World According to Clarkson. Jeremy Clarkson has seen rather more of the world than most. He has, as they say, been around a bit. And as a result, he's got one or two things to tell us about how it all works; and being Jeremy Clarkson he's not about to voice them quietly, humbly, and without great dollops of humor. In The World According to Clarkson, he reveals why it is that too much science is bad for our health, 1970s rock music is nothing to be ashamed of, hunting foxes while drunk and wearing night-sights is neither big nor clever, we must work harder to get rid of cricket, and that he likes the Germans (well, sometimes). With a strong dose of common sense that is rarely, if ever, found inside the M25, Clarkson hilariously attacks the pompous, the ridiculous, the absurd, and the downright idiotic, while also celebrating the eccentric, the clever, and the sheer bloody brilliant. Less a manifesto for living and more a road map to modern life, The World According to Clarkson is the funniest book you'll read this year. Don't leave home without it. The World According to Clarkson is a hilarious collection of Jeremy's Sunday Times columns and the first in his The World According to Clarkson series which also includes And Another Thing; For Crying Out Loud! and How Hard Can It Be?

"synopsis" may belong to another edition of this title.

About the Author:

Jeremy Clarkson made his name presenting a poky motoring program on BBC2 called Top Gear. He left to forge a career in other directions before ending up back on Top Gear again.

Excerpt. Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.:

Another Day’s Holiday? Please, Give Me a Break


According to a poll, the vast majority of people questioned

as they struggled back to work last week thought

that England should have followed Scotland’s lead and

made Tuesday a bank holiday.

Two things strike me as odd here. First, that anyone

could be bothered to undertake such research and,

second, that anyone in their right mind could think that

the Christmas break was in some way too short.

I took ten days off and by 11 o’clock on the first morning

I had drunk fourteen cups of coffee, read all the

newspapers and the Guardian and then . . . and then what?

By lunchtime I was so bored that I decided to hang a

few pictures. So I found a hammer, and later a man came

to replaster the bits of wall I had demolished. Then I

tried to fix the electric gates, which work only when

there’s an omega in the month. So I went down the

drive with a spanner, and later another man came to put

them back together again.

I was just about to start on the Aga, which had broken

down on Christmas Eve, as they do, when my wife took

me on one side by my earlobe and explained that builders

do not, on the whole, spend their spare time writing, so

writers should not build on their days off. It’s expensive

and it can be dangerous, she said.

 

She’s right. We have these lights in the dining room

which are supposed to project stars onto the table below.

It has never really bothered me that the light seeps out

of the sides so the stars are invisible; but when you are

bored, this is exactly the sort of thing that gets on your

nerves.

So I bought some gaffer tape and suddenly my life had

a purpose. There was something to do.

Mercifully, Christmas intervened before I could do

any more damage, but then it went away again and once

more I found myself staring at the day through the wrong

end of a pair of binoculars. Each morning, bed and the

blessed relief of unconsciousness seemed so far away.

I wore a groove in the kitchen floor with endless trips

to the fridge, hoping against hope that I had somehow

missed a plateful of cold sausages on the previous 4,000

excursions. Then, for no obvious reason, I decided to

buy a footstool.

I took the entire family to the sort of gifty-wifty shop

where the smell of pot-pourri is so pungent that it makes

you go cross-eyed. Even though the children were lying

on the floor gagging, I still spent hours deliberately

choosing a footstool that was too small and the wrong

colour so that I could waste some more time taking it

back.

The next day, still gently redolent of Delia Smith’s

knicker drawer, I decided to buy the wrong sort of

antique filing cabinet. But after the footstool debacle my

wife said no. So it seemed appropriate that I should

develop some kind of illness. This is a good idea when

you are at a loose end because everything, up to and

including herpes, is better than being bored.

 

"About this title" may belong to another edition of this title.

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Jeremy Clarkson
Published by Penguin Books Ltd, United Kingdom (2010)
ISBN 10: 0141017899 ISBN 13: 9780141017891
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Book Description Penguin Books Ltd, United Kingdom, 2010. Paperback. Book Condition: New. Language: English . Brand New Book. Jeremy Clarkson shares his opinions on just about everything in The World According to Clarkson.Jeremy Clarkson has seen rather more of the world than most. He has, as they say, been around a bit. And as a result, he s got one or two things to tell us about how it all works; and being Jeremy Clarkson he s not about to voice them quietly, humbly and without great dollops of humour.In The World According to Clarkson, he reveals why it is that:Too much science is bad for our health 70s rock music is nothing to be ashamed ofHunting foxes while drunk and wearing night-sights is neither big nor cleverWe must work harder to get rid of cricketHe likes the Germans (well, sometimes)With a strong dose of common sense that is rarely, if ever, found inside the M25, Clarkson hilariously attacks the pompous, the ridiculous, the absurd and the downright idiotic, whilst also celebrating the eccentric, the clever and the sheer bloody brilliant.Less a manifesto for living and more a road map to modern life, The World According to Clarkson is the funniest book you ll read this year. Don t leave home without it. The World According to Clarkson is a hilarious collection of Jeremy s Sunday Times columns and the first in his The World According to Clarkson series which also includes And Another Thing; For Crying Out Loud! and How Hard Can It Be? Brilliant, laugh-out-loud Daily Telegraph Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches Time OutNumber-one bestseller and presenter of the hugely popular Top Gear, Jeremy Clarkson writes on cars, current affairs and anything else that annoys him in his sharp and funny collections. Born To Be Riled, Clarkson On Cars, Don t Stop Me Now, Driven To Distraction, Round the Bend, Motorworld, and I Know You Got Soul are also available as Penguin paperbacks; the Penguin App iClarkson: The Book of Cars can be downloaded on the App Store. Bookseller Inventory # APG9780141017891

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Book Description Penguin Books Ltd, United Kingdom, 2010. Paperback. Book Condition: New. Language: English . Brand New Book. Jeremy Clarkson shares his opinions on just about everything in The World According to Clarkson.Jeremy Clarkson has seen rather more of the world than most. He has, as they say, been around a bit. And as a result, he s got one or two things to tell us about how it all works; and being Jeremy Clarkson he s not about to voice them quietly, humbly and without great dollops of humour.In The World According to Clarkson, he reveals why it is that:Too much science is bad for our health 70s rock music is nothing to be ashamed ofHunting foxes while drunk and wearing night-sights is neither big nor cleverWe must work harder to get rid of cricketHe likes the Germans (well, sometimes)With a strong dose of common sense that is rarely, if ever, found inside the M25, Clarkson hilariously attacks the pompous, the ridiculous, the absurd and the downright idiotic, whilst also celebrating the eccentric, the clever and the sheer bloody brilliant.Less a manifesto for living and more a road map to modern life, The World According to Clarkson is the funniest book you ll read this year. Don t leave home without it. The World According to Clarkson is a hilarious collection of Jeremy s Sunday Times columns and the first in his The World According to Clarkson series which also includes And Another Thing; For Crying Out Loud! and How Hard Can It Be? Brilliant, laugh-out-loud Daily Telegraph Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches Time OutNumber-one bestseller and presenter of the hugely popular Top Gear, Jeremy Clarkson writes on cars, current affairs and anything else that annoys him in his sharp and funny collections. Born To Be Riled, Clarkson On Cars, Don t Stop Me Now, Driven To Distraction, Round the Bend, Motorworld, and I Know You Got Soul are also available as Penguin paperbacks; the Penguin App iClarkson: The Book of Cars can be downloaded on the App Store. Bookseller Inventory # APG9780141017891

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