Hiding Out: A Memoir of Drugs, Deception, and Double Lives: A Story of Family, Secrecy, and Devotion - Hardcover

Allen, Tina Alexis

Hardcover

ISBN 10: 0062565672 ISBN 13: 9780062565679

Publisher: Dey Street Books, 2018

Synopsis

“[Hiding Out] brims with drunkenness, sexuality and urgency...a “can’t-put-down” read."  — Washington Post

Actress and playwright Tina Alexis Allen’s audacious memoir unravels her privileged suburban Catholic upbringing that was shaped by her formidable father—a man whose strict religious devotion and dedication to his large family hid his true nature and a life defined by deep secrets and dangerous lies.

The youngest of thirteen children in a devout Catholic family, Tina Alexis Allen grew up in 1980s suburban Maryland in a house ruled by her stern father, Sir John, an imposing, British-born authoritarian who had been knighted by the Pope. Sir John supported his large family running a successful travel agency that specialized in religious tours to the Holy Land and the Vatican for pious Catholics.

But his daughter, Tina, was no sweet and innocent Catholic girl. A smart-mouthed high school basketball prodigy, she harbored a painful secret: she liked girls. When Tina was eighteen her father discovered the truth about her sexuality. Instead of dragging her to the family priest and lecturing her with tearful sermons about sin and damnation, her father shocked her with his honest response. He, too, was gay.

The secret they shared about their sexuality brought father and daughter closer, and the two became trusted confidants and partners in a relationship that eventually spiraled out of control. Tina and Sir John spent nights dancing in gay clubs together, experimenting with drugs, and casual sex—all while keeping the rest of their family in the dark.

Outside of their wild clandestine escapades, Sir John made Tina his heir apparent at the travel agency. Drawn deeper into the business, Tina soon became suspicious of her father’s frequent business trips, his multiple passports and cache of documents, and the briefcases full of cash that mysteriously appeared and quickly vanished. Digging deeper, she uncovered a disturbing facet beyond the stunning double-life of the father she thought she knew.

A riveting and cinematic true tale stranger and twistier than fiction, Hiding Out is an astonishing story of self-discovery, family, secrets, and the power of the truth to set us free.

About this title

Review

“I can fully recommend it, I read it cover to cover, the writing was excellent and was completely engrossed; the story is incredibly compelling.” (Megyn Kelly, Megyn Kelly TODAY )

“I love this book—brave, brutal truths.” (Rosie O’Donnell)

“[Hiding Out] brims with drunkenness, sexuality and urgency...She showcases excellent writing skills, packaging grit and grime into glistening prose. Her twisted mystery, family woes of the nastiest kind and multilayered love stories spin together to form a “can’t-put-down” read in Hiding Out.”
(Washington Post)

“[Tina Alexis Allen] doesn’t hold back in her memoir Hiding Out.” (Teen Vogue)

“Tina Alexis Allen was tired of living in the shadows...She is hoping [Hiding Out] will encourage others to come forward and speak out against being abused.” (FoxNews.com)

“Scandalous, resonant, and refreshingly free of self-justification, Hiding Out is a compelling tale of sin and service, concealment and disclosure, hedonism and righteousness...an in-the-moment dose of the exhilarating tragedy of being alive.”  (Mark Riebling, author of Church of Spies)

“Allen’s life — once dominated by cruelty and abuse — takes a deep dive into decadence, fueled by cocaine, champagne and Sir John’s never-ending supply of mysterious money. Hiding Out is about a lot of lies, and some are the ones we tell ourselves.” (New York Daily News)

“Brutally honest and shamelessly truthful.” (Fr. Richard Rohr, author of Falling Upward)

“Hiding Out is a whiplash read for its drama and intrigue, but it’s also an openhearted exploration of history, hypocrisy, and the fact that we may never know the answers to the questions that have shaped our lives.” (Shondaland.com)

“This is not a book for the faint of heart. Tina scrubs her soul clean within its pages, uncovering and exposing the web of lies her young adulthood had become...[she] succeeds on all levels with this memoir you definitely will not forget.” (Talk Nerdy With Us)

From the Back Cover

Two lives, forever bound together by secrets

Tina Alexis Allen, the youngest of thirteen in a devout Catholic family, had what appeared to be a privileged and normal childhood: She grew up in a fancy house with a pool in the suburbs outside of Washington, D.C. Her family was deeply entrenched in their faith, gathering together for lively dinners and festive holidays. She was a high school basketball star, winning a full scholarship to college. She was beautiful, cared for, and, to those who didn’t know the whole story, happy.

But as with many families, appearance and truth are often far apart. Tina’s life, and the lives of her mother and twelve siblings, was dominated by Sir John, her charming but formidable father—an English orphan, ex-soldier, and Catholic servant so diligent that he had been knighted by the pope. With a hot temper, an obvious disdain for his wife, and a devotion to drinking that rivaled his devotion to God, Sir John kept his family, ever watchful and fearful of the volcano in their midst, on edge.

As Tina grew into a smart-mouthed teenager, she began to trade in the commodity of secrets, keeping her lesbian identity, her romances with older women, and a deeper secret shame concealed in her heart. It was not until Sir John brought Tina into his successful Catholic travel agency as a protégé that she learned he was even more expert than she in the complicated work of secret keeping.

Together, father and daughter create a private world—reveling in their true identities, pushing the boundaries, and living parallel double lives. But what begins as a tender confession of truth and trust quickly spirals into booze-soaked nights of sex, drugs, and lies. And, as Tina dives ever deeper into her father’s life, she discovers a deeply conflicted man whose commitment to his faith has led him into another secret world. This one, she will never know.

Hiding Out is a memoir of a father and daughter who fight like hell to create an honest relationship. It is also an astonishing story of self-discovery, the family ties that bind, the shame that binds even tighter, and the power of the truth to set us free. Hiding Out shows us that real life does always have the edge on fiction.

About this edition

• Publisher: Dey Street Books
• Publication date: 2018
• ISBN 10: 0062565672
• ISBN 13: 9780062565679
• Binding: Hardcover
• Number of pages: 288