He's Just Not Up for It Anymore: When Men Stop Having Sex, and What Women Are Doing About It: When Men Stop Having Sex, and What You Can Do About It - Hardcover

Bob Berkowitz; Susan Yager-Berkowitz

3.19

37 ratings by Goodreads

9780061192036: He's Just Not Up for It Anymore: When Men Stop Having Sex, and What Women Are Doing About It: When Men Stop Having Sex, and What You Can Do About It

Hardcover

ISBN 10: 0061192031 ISBN 13: 9780061192036

Publisher: HarperCollins, 2008

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Men not interested in sex? Can this really be true? It is for the estimated 20 million American men and women who are in relationships in which the man has stopped being sexually intimate. This breakthrough book reveals the counterintuitive truth: Many men are just not up for it anymore. To find out why, bestselling author and relationship expert Dr. Bob Berkowitz and his wife, Susan Yager-Berkowitz, began an unprecedented survey of more than 4,000 men and women in this situation, gathering data and following up with hundreds of interviews with selected respondents.

Why don't these men want to have sex? Is the problem physical, emotional, or psychological--or are these guys simply bored with their partners? Is it unexpressed anger about other aspects of their relationships? Are they depressed? Now that there is limitless access to pornography, are some men no longer able to be turned on without it? Are they becoming satiated? Do they have a fully functioning libido, just not for their wives? Or is decreased interest in sex just an unacknowledged but natural fact of life for a lot of men? Do they want their libidos back?

Further, how do their partners feel about this? Are they dejected or relieved? Do they suspect infidelity, asexuality or homosexuality, or just blame themselves? What are they doing about it? What can they do?

He's Just Not Up for It Anymore provides a unique window into the sexless man's mind--so that men and women can understand this important issue and begin to address the problems that have inhibited intimacy, and ultimately solve them.

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Review:

"A book that millions of men could benefit from . . . this really could be the Last Taboo. . . the real point here, the Berkowitzes say, isn't casting blame on anyone. It's understanding the issues and jump-starting all these stalled libidos." -- New York Newsday

Synopsis:

Recent research suggests that around one in 20 couples are virtually celibate, rising to one in 10 among those in the 45-54 age group and in a surprising amount of cases, it is the man who has lost interest in intimacy.These men who have lost their desire - who are they? Why don't they want to have sex? After all, isn't sex something that men are supposed to want all the time? Is the problem physical, emotional, psychological, or are these guys simply bored with their partners? Is it unexpressed rage at relationships failing them in other ways? Are they suffering in silence from sexual dysfunction, afraid of embarrassing themselves and not satisfying their spouses? Is decreased interest in sex just an unacknowledged but natural fact of life for a lot of people? Now that there is limitless access to pornography, are some men no longer able to be turned on without it? Are they becoming satiated? Or, do they have a fully functioning libido, just not for their wives? Infidelity aside, it is any or all of the above that are possible reasons. And sadly, many men refuse professional help. Further, what can their partners do?This book draws on a survey of thousands of people who are in sexless marriages.

Award-winning journalist Dr. Bob Berkowitz, with his decades of interviewing people about their sex lives, will discuss this personal and delicate topic with many, offering solutions based on the research and experience of many leading experts in the field. Men won't talk to their partners about this. Dr. Berkowitz will has an uncanny ability to get men to open up on even the most intimate of subjects. This book will give women a window into the sexless man's brain, so they can understand their partners and help them address the issues that have inhibited sex.

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