Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic

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9780061142352: Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic

'If sex - or rather, the lack of sex - in marriages and long-term relationships isn't a hot topic, it's because no one dares talk about it. Or admit to it. Until now ...' Observer

Can we continue to desire what we already have?

Does good intimacy always make for good sex?

Are domesticity and passion compatible?

In Mating in Captivity, psychotherapist Esther Perel tackles the paradox of modern love. Our cultural penchant for equality, togetherness and absolute candour is at odds with erotic desire. Which makes long-term love an increasingly contradictory and messy business. Perel looks at why it's hard to want what you already have, even in the most committed relationship. And teaches how you can reconcile domestic bliss with erotic excitement, and rekindle lost passion. Wise, witty, and as revelatory as it is straightforward, Mating in Captivity is a sensational book that could change the way you love and live.

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Product Description:

When you love someone, how does it feel? And when you desire someone, how is it different?

In Mating in Captivity, Esther Perel looks at the story of sex in committed couples. Modern romance promises it all - a lifetime of togetherness, intimacy and erotic desire. In reality, it's hard to want what you already have. Our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. And often, the very thing that got us to into our relationships - lust - is the one thing that goes missing from them.

Determined to reconcile the erotic and the domestic, Perel explains why democracy is a passion killer in the bedroom. Argues for playfulness, distance, and uncertainty. And shows what it takes to bring lust home. Smart, sexy and explosively original, Mating in Captivity is the monogamist's essential bedside read.

Review:

'An elegant sociological study, complete with erudite literary and anthropological references' ( Daily Telegraph)

'Reads like a cross between the works of Jacques Lacan and French Women Don't Get Fat' ( The New Yorker)

'At precisely the same moment that you're being shocked by her, you're also acknowledging the validity of her ideas. Perel's ideas are like the chorus of a really good pop song - instantly familiar because they resonate deeply. It's all rather terrifying in its intuitiveness and its pure rightness' ( Observer)

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Book Description HarperCollins Publishers Inc, United States, 2006. CD-Audio. Book Condition: New. Unabridged. 147 x 137 mm. Language: English . Brand New. Why does great sex so often fade for couples who claim to love each other as much as ever?Can we want what we already have? Why does the transition to parenthood so often spell erotic disaster? Does good intimacy always make for good sex?Ether Perel takes on these tough questions, grappling with the obstacles and anxieties that arise when our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. She invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.In her twenty years of clinical experience, Perel has treated hundreds of couples whose home lives are empty of passion. They describe relationships that are open and loving, yet sexually dull. What is going on? In this explosively original book, Perel explains that our cultural penchant for equality, togetherness, and absolute candor is antithetical to erotic desire for both men and women. Sexual excitement doesn t always play by the rules of good citizenship. It is politically incorrect. It thrives on power plays, unfair advantages, and the space between self and other. More exciting, playful, even poetic sex is possible, but first we must kick egalitarian ideals and emotional housekeeping out of our bedrooms.While Mating in Captivity shows why the domestic realm can feel like a cage, Perel s take on bedroom dynamics promises to liberate, enchant, and provoke. Flinging the doors open on erotic life and domesticity, she invites us to put the X back in sex. Bookseller Inventory # AAC9780061142352

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Book Description HarperCollins Publishers Inc, United States, 2006. CD-Audio. Book Condition: New. Unabridged. 147 x 137 mm. Language: English . Brand New. Why does great sex so often fade for couples who claim to love each other as much as ever?Can we want what we already have? Why does the transition to parenthood so often spell erotic disaster? Does good intimacy always make for good sex?Ether Perel takes on these tough questions, grappling with the obstacles and anxieties that arise when our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. She invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.In her twenty years of clinical experience, Perel has treated hundreds of couples whose home lives are empty of passion. They describe relationships that are open and loving, yet sexually dull. What is going on? In this explosively original book, Perel explains that our cultural penchant for equality, togetherness, and absolute candor is antithetical to erotic desire for both men and women. Sexual excitement doesn t always play by the rules of good citizenship. It is politically incorrect. It thrives on power plays, unfair advantages, and the space between self and other. More exciting, playful, even poetic sex is possible, but first we must kick egalitarian ideals and emotional housekeeping out of our bedrooms.While Mating in Captivity shows why the domestic realm can feel like a cage, Perel s take on bedroom dynamics promises to liberate, enchant, and provoke. Flinging the doors open on erotic life and domesticity, she invites us to put the X back in sex. Bookseller Inventory # AAC9780061142352

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Book Description HarperAudio. No binding. Book Condition: New. Audio CD. FREE SHIPPING - Due to Amazons restrictions you must pay 3. 49 in the check-out and we will refund those shipping fees to you! This is an audio download and youll receive an e-mail with download instructions within 2 business days. A provocative and controversial look at intimacy and sexual relationships by a seasoned clinician who examines the paradoxical relationship between domesticity and sexual desire and explains what it takes to bring lust home. In her 20 years of clinical experience, Esther Perel has treated scores of couples who complain of domestic lives devoid of eroticism. They describe loving, intimate relationships that are egalitarian and open and yet, their sex lives are passionless and dull. In her explosively original thesis, Perel explains that our cultural penchant for equality, fairness and absolute candor is antithetical to erotic desire for men and women alike. Sexual excitement, she explains, doesnt play by the rules of good citizenship. Rather, it is politically incorrect, thriving on power plays, role reversals, unfair advantages, imperious demands, ambiguity in gesture and words, seductive manipulations, and subtle cruelties. We might have exciting, playful, even poetic sex if we were less constrained in the bedroom by our emotional correctness and our emphasis on safety and respect. This item ships from multiple locations. Your book may arrive from Roseburg,OR, La Vergne,TN. Audio CD. Bookseller Inventory # 9780061142352

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