Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic

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9780061142352: Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic

'If sex - or rather, the lack of sex - in marriages and long-term relationships isn't a hot topic, it's because no one dares talk about it. Or admit to it. Until now ...' Observer

Can we continue to desire what we already have?

Does good intimacy always make for good sex?

Are domesticity and passion compatible?

In Mating in Captivity, psychotherapist Esther Perel tackles the paradox of modern love. Our cultural penchant for equality, togetherness and absolute candour is at odds with erotic desire. Which makes long-term love an increasingly contradictory and messy business. Perel looks at why it's hard to want what you already have, even in the most committed relationship. And teaches how you can reconcile domestic bliss with erotic excitement, and rekindle lost passion. Wise, witty, and as revelatory as it is straightforward, Mating in Captivity is a sensational book that could change the way you love and live.

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Product Description:

When you love someone, how does it feel? And when you desire someone, how is it different?

In Mating in Captivity, Esther Perel looks at the story of sex in committed couples. Modern romance promises it all - a lifetime of togetherness, intimacy and erotic desire. In reality, it's hard to want what you already have. Our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. And often, the very thing that got us to into our relationships - lust - is the one thing that goes missing from them.

Determined to reconcile the erotic and the domestic, Perel explains why democracy is a passion killer in the bedroom. Argues for playfulness, distance, and uncertainty. And shows what it takes to bring lust home. Smart, sexy and explosively original, Mating in Captivity is the monogamist's essential bedside read.

Review:

'An elegant sociological study, complete with erudite literary and anthropological references' ( Daily Telegraph)

'Reads like a cross between the works of Jacques Lacan and French Women Don't Get Fat' ( The New Yorker)

'At precisely the same moment that you're being shocked by her, you're also acknowledging the validity of her ideas. Perel's ideas are like the chorus of a really good pop song - instantly familiar because they resonate deeply. It's all rather terrifying in its intuitiveness and its pure rightness' ( Observer)

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