The Dance of Deception: Pretending and Truth-Telling in Women's Lives

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9780060924638: The Dance of Deception: Pretending and Truth-Telling in Women's Lives

From the bestselling author of The Dance of Anger and The Dance of Intimacy comes this groundbreaking exploration of the role of truth-telling and pretending in women’s lives.

According to psychotherapist Harriet G. Lerner, pretending is so inextricably linked with society’s notions of feminine behaviour that it is, quite simply, what women are expected to do. Truth-telling, the opposite of this feminine stereotype, is always associated with authenticity, integrity and self-worth. Going beyond conventional distinctions between deception and honesty, between good and bad, Dr Lerner gives a penetrating and humane analysis of what lying represents in a society where women’s ‘truths’ are so often unspoken truths.

Exploring the concepts of lying and pretending, of truth-telling and honesty as they are played out both in women’s intimate relationships and in society at large, The Dance of Deception offers a convincing and wholly accessible analysis of this unacknowledged part of all our lives.

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From the Back Cover:

Following the success of her bestselling books 'The Dance of Anger' and 'The Dance of Intimacy', renowned psychologist Harriet Lerner, Ph.D. looks atr the enormous human capacity for self-deception and uncovers the myths of female stereotypes.

Focusing primarily on the relationship with the self, Lerner analyses how and why we choose to deceive. 'The Dance of Deception' reveals how pretending has become so closely linked with society’s notion of female behaviour that the pretender is a role which women freely take on. Truth-telling is living your own truth and gives authenticity, integrity and self-worth, while pretending, for example, that you are happy when you are not is a path of self-denial. As each of us enters the web of self deceipt we deny ourselves a route to honesty and happiness. Going beyond conventional distinctions between deception and honesty, good and bad, Lerner analyses what lying represents in a society where women’s ‘truths’ are often unspoken.

About the Author:

Harriet Lerner is a renowned psychotherapist and bestselling author of Dance of Anger, Dance of Intimacy and the soon to be published Mother Dance, also by Thorsons.

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Book Description HarperCollins Publishers Inc, United States, 2003. Paperback. Book Condition: New. Reprint. 201 x 132 mm. Language: English . Brand New Book. When The Dance of Deceptionwas published, Lerner discovered that women were not eager to identify with the subject. Well, I don t do deception was a common resonse.We all do deception, often with the intention to protect ourselves and the relationships we depend on. The Dance of Deceptionunravels the ways (and whys) that women show the false and hide the real -- even to our own selves. We see how relationships are affected by lying and faking, by silence and pretending and by brave -- but misguided -- efforts to tell the truth.Truth-telling is at the heart of what is most central in women s lives. It is at the foundation of authenticity and creativity, intimacy and joy. Yet in the name of honesty, we can bludgeon each other. We can approach a difficult issue with such a poor sense of timing and tact that we can actually shut down the lines of communication rather than widening the path of truth-telling.Sometimes Lerner s advice takes a surprising turn -- for example, when she asks us to engage in a bold act of pretending in order to discover something more real ; or when she tells us not to parachute down on our family to bring up a hot issue without laying the necessary groundwork first.Whether the subject is affairs, family secrets, sexual faking or the challenge of being oneself, Lerner helps us to discover, speak and live our own truths. Bookseller Inventory # AAS9780060924638

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Book Description HarperCollins Publishers Inc, United States, 2003. Paperback. Book Condition: New. Reprint. 201 x 132 mm. Language: English . Brand New Book. When The Dance of Deceptionwas published, Lerner discovered that women were not eager to identify with the subject. Well, I don t do deception was a common resonse.We all do deception, often with the intention to protect ourselves and the relationships we depend on. The Dance of Deceptionunravels the ways (and whys) that women show the false and hide the real -- even to our own selves. We see how relationships are affected by lying and faking, by silence and pretending and by brave -- but misguided -- efforts to tell the truth.Truth-telling is at the heart of what is most central in women s lives. It is at the foundation of authenticity and creativity, intimacy and joy. Yet in the name of honesty, we can bludgeon each other. We can approach a difficult issue with such a poor sense of timing and tact that we can actually shut down the lines of communication rather than widening the path of truth-telling.Sometimes Lerner s advice takes a surprising turn -- for example, when she asks us to engage in a bold act of pretending in order to discover something more real ; or when she tells us not to parachute down on our family to bring up a hot issue without laying the necessary groundwork first.Whether the subject is affairs, family secrets, sexual faking or the challenge of being oneself, Lerner helps us to discover, speak and live our own truths. Bookseller Inventory # AAS9780060924638

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