Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You

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9780060187576: Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You

Emotional blackmail is a powerful form of manipulation in which people close to us threaten to punish us for not doing what they want. Emotional blackmailers know how much we value our relationship with them. They know our vulnerabilities and our deepest secrets. They are our mothers, partners, our bosses and colleagues, our friends and our lovers. And no matter how much they care about us, they use this intimate knowledge to give themselves the pay-off they want - our compliance. Susan Forward presents an anatomy of a relationship damaged by manipulation, and gives the reader an arsenal of tools to fight back, with strategies for blackmail targets, including checklists, practical scenarios and communication techniques that seek to strengthen relationships and break the blackmail cycle for good.

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Review:

"Breathe a sigh of relief! Susan Forward helps you identify and correct an intensely destructive and confusing pattern of relating with those you love. I highly recommend this important book!"--Susan Jeffers, Ph.D., author of "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway

From the Back Cover:

DO IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE:
constantly threaten to end the relationship if you don't do what they want?
always want more, no matter how much you give?
shower you with approval when you give in to them and take it away when you don't
consistently label you as selfish, bad or greedy when you don't do what they want?
use money as a weapon to get their way?
say things like 'After all I've done for you...' or 'If you really loved me...?'

If you answer 'yes' to even one of these questions, you are being emotionally blackmailed. Emotional blackmailers know and manipulate our vulnerabilities: they are our mothers, our partners, our bosses and colleagues. In 'Emotional Blackmail', Dr Susan Forward provides you with the means to change, enabling you to build new healthy relationships both with the blackmailers in your life and with yourself. She offers sound strategies for blackmail targets, practical scenarios and concrete communication techniques that will break the blackmail cycle for good.

"Susan Forward shines a light on relationships in her uniquely compassionate and dramatic way."
DR BARBARA DE ANGELIS, author of 'Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know'

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