The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander: From Preschool to High School, How Parents and Teachers Can Help Break the Cycle of Violence

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9780060014292: The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander: From Preschool to High School, How Parents and Teachers Can Help Break the Cycle of Violence

Bestselling author and parenting educator Barbara Coloroso explains the phenomenon of bullying and the explosive proportions it has reached in our society, explaining what parents and other caregivers can do to recognise and help bullies and their victims before the violence becomes entrenched or tragically escalates.

Barbara Coloroso draws on her decades of work with youth, parents, and educators, to reveal the dynamics that give rise to bullying and what parents, schools, and communities can do to stop, heal, and prevent it. She reveals:

. the essential triad – the bully, the bullied, and the bystander – that allows bullying to happen;

. the difference between bullying and teasing;

. what to do if your child is the victim of a bully;

. what to do if your child bullies – how to mend and restore rather than isolate and punish the bully;

. how to defuse hostility and teach six steps for conflict resolution;

. a constructive alternative to zero tolerance.

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About the Author:

Barbara Coloroso is the author of the international bestseller Kids Are Worth It! and Parenting Through Crisis and is an acclaimed speaker on parenting, teaching, conflict, resolution, and grieving. Featured in Time, the New York Times, and on many radio and television shows, she lives with her husband in Littleton, Colorado.

From Publishers Weekly:

This is an extremely helpful book that both parents and teachers can use to deal with bullying, an aspect of school that the author feels "is a life-and-death issue that we ignore at our children's peril." Staring with a bottom-line assumption that "bullying is a learned behavior," Coloroso (Parenting Through Crisis) wonderfully explains not only the ways that the bully, the bullied and the bystander are "three characters in a tragic play" but also how "the scripts can be rewritten, new roles created, the plot changed." For each of the three "characters," she breaks down the behavior that defines each role, analyzes the specific ways that each character can have their behaviors changed for the better, and suggests a range of methods that parents and educators can use to identify bullying behavior and deal with it effectively. The book also provides excellent insights into behaviors related to but not always recognized as bullying, such as cliques, hazing, taunting and sexual bullying. And while there have been numerous books about bullies, this volume is perhaps best for its sections on the "bystander," the person whose behavior is too often overlooked or excused. Coloroso's emphasis on aikido-related defensive skills do not sufficiently address the issue of what a child is to do when physical force is necessary to stop a bully, but overall this is an important look at the ways that bullied children can affirm their dignity and self-worth.
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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