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When The Dance of Deceptionwas published, Lerner discovered that women were not eager to identify with the subject. "Well, I don't do deception" was a common resonse.
We all "do deception," often with the intention to protect ourselves and the relationships we depend on. The Dance of Deceptionunravels the ways (and whys) that women show the false and hide the real -- even to our own selves. We see how relationships are affected by lying and faking, by silence and pretending and by brave -- but misguided -- efforts to tell the truth.
Truth-telling is at the heart of what is most central in women's lives. It is at the foundation of authenticity and creativity, intimacy and joy. Yet in the name of "honesty," we can bludgeon each other. We can approach a difficult issue with such a poor sense of timing and tact that we can actually shut down the lines of communication rather than widening the path of truth-telling.
Sometimes Lerner's advice takes a surprising turn -- for example, when she asks us to engage in a bold act of pretending in order to discover something "more real"; or when she tells us not to parachute down on our family to bring up a "hot issue" without laying the necessary groundwork first.
Whether the subject is affairs, family secrets, sexual faking or the challenge of "being oneself," Lerner helps us to discover, speak and live our own truths.
"synopsis" may belong to another edition of this title.
Review:
Stunning in it s impact. --Betty Carter, M.S.W. Director Emerita, Family Institute of Westchester, New York.
A remarkable, beautifully written book. --Carol Tavris, author of Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me)
"Stunning in it's impact."--Betty Carter, M.S.W. Director Emerita, Family Institute of Westchester, New York.
"A remarkable, beautifully written book."--Carol Tavris, author of Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me)
"A remarkable, beautifully written book illuminating ways for women to find integrity, courage, and voice in a world that rewards female silence and pretense."--Carol Tavris, Ph.D.
"Stunning in it's impact. This is a book to be read and reread."--Betty Carter, M.S.W. Director Emerita, Family Institute of Westchester, New York.
Stunning in it s impact. This is a book to be read and reread. --Betty Carter, M.S.W. Director Emerita, Family Institute of Westchester, New York."
A remarkable, beautifully written book illuminating ways for women to find integrity, courage, and voice in a world that rewards female silence and pretense. --Carol Tavris, Ph.D."
-Stunning in it's impact. This is a book to be read and reread.---Betty Carter, M.S.W. Director Emerita, Family Institute of Westchester, New York.
-A remarkable, beautifully written book illuminating ways for women to find integrity, courage, and voice in a world that rewards female silence and pretense.---Carol Tavris, Ph.D.
From the Back Cover:
A remarkable, beautifully written book. --Carol Tavris, author of Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me)
"Stunning in it's impact."--Betty Carter, M.S.W. Director Emerita, Family Institute of Westchester, New York.
"A remarkable, beautifully written book."--Carol Tavris, author of Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me)
"A remarkable, beautifully written book illuminating ways for women to find integrity, courage, and voice in a world that rewards female silence and pretense."--Carol Tavris, Ph.D.
"Stunning in it's impact. This is a book to be read and reread."--Betty Carter, M.S.W. Director Emerita, Family Institute of Westchester, New York.
Stunning in it s impact. This is a book to be read and reread. --Betty Carter, M.S.W. Director Emerita, Family Institute of Westchester, New York."
A remarkable, beautifully written book illuminating ways for women to find integrity, courage, and voice in a world that rewards female silence and pretense. --Carol Tavris, Ph.D."
-Stunning in it's impact. This is a book to be read and reread.---Betty Carter, M.S.W. Director Emerita, Family Institute of Westchester, New York.
-A remarkable, beautifully written book illuminating ways for women to find integrity, courage, and voice in a world that rewards female silence and pretense.---Carol Tavris, Ph.D.
From the best-selling author of 'The Dance of Anger' and 'The Dance of Intimacy' comes this groundbreaking exploration of the role of truth-telling and pretending in women's lives.
According to feminist psychotherapist Harriet G. Lerner, pretending is so inextricably linked with society's notions of feminine behaviour that it is, quite simply, what women are expected to do. Truth-telling, the opposite of this feminine stereotype, is always associated with authenticity, integrity and self-worth. Going beyond conventional distinctions between deception and honesty, between good and bad, Dr Lerner gives a penetrating and humane analysis of what lying represents in a society where women's "truths" are so often unspoken truths.
Exploring the concepts of lying and pretending, of truth-telling and honesty as they are played out both in women's intimate relationships and in society at large, 'The Dance of Deception' offers a convincing and wholly accessible analysis of this unacknowledged part of all our lives.
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- PublisherPandora
- Publication date1995
- ISBN 10 0044409311
- ISBN 13 9780044409311
- BindingPaperback
- Number of pages272
- Rating
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The Dance of Deception: Pretending and Truth-telling in Women's Lives
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(1994)
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ISBN 13: 9780044409311
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Book Description Paperback. Condition: Used; Good. Dispatched, from the UK, within 48 hours of ordering. This book is in good condition but will show signs of previous ownership. Please expect some creasing to the spine and/or minor damage to the cover. Seller Inventory # CHL3316046
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The Dance of Deception
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Book Description Paperback. Condition: Fair. 254 pages. Cover worn. Text buckledA study of the role of tru th-telling and pretending in women's lives, explores the theory t hat pretending is so inextricably linked with society's notions o f feminine behaviour, that it is what women are expected to do. D r Lerner goes beyond conventional distinctions between deception and honesty, between good and bad, to give an analysis of what ly ing represents in a society where women's truths are often unsp oken truths. Seller Inventory # 1373y
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