What to do if Matthew, your secret lover of the past four years, finally decides to leave his wife Sophie (and their two daughters) and move into your flat, just when you¿re thinking that you might not want him anymore¿
PLAN A
Stop shaving your armpits. And your bikini line
Tell him you have a moustache that you wax every six weeks
Stop having sex with him
Pick holes in the way he dresses
Don¿t brush your teeth. Or your hair. Or the stray hag-whisker that grows out of your chin
Buy incontinence pads and leave them lying around
PLAN B
Accidentally on purpose bump into his wife Sophie
Give yourself a fake name and identity
Befriend Sophie
Actually begin to really like Sophie
Snog Matthew¿s son (whose the same age as you by the way. You¿re not a paedophile)
Buy a cat and give it a fake name and identity
Befriend Matthew¿s children. Unsuccessfully
Watch your whole plan go absolutely horribly wrong
Getting Rid of Matthew isn¿t as easy as it seems, but along the way Helen will forge an unlikely friendship, find real love and realize that nothing ever goes exactly to plan¿
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Book Description Paperback. Condition: Used; Good. Helen Flook (illustrator). Dispatched, from the UK, within 48 hours of ordering. This book is in good condition but will show signs of previous ownership. Please expect some creasing to the spine and/or minor damage to the cover. Aged book. Tanned pages and age spots, however, this will not interfere with reading. Inscription on the first page, typically just a name but may include a dedication or a brief personal message. Seller Inventory # CHL9179787