Real Boy's Voices - Softcover

Pollack PH.D., William S; Shuster, Todd

3.67

91 ratings by Goodreads

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0141002948 ISBN 13: 9780141002941

Publisher: Penguin, 2001

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What real boys have to say

"A lot of people use words like 'psycho' or 'wacko' to refer to people who are feeling glum or think they might want to take their own life. I think these sorts of slang terms create further isolation in a teen, and that's not what you want to do to a teen who already feels alone" --Alexander, 18, from a small town in the South

"A guy is supposed to be strong, tall, and fast and have the qualities of an ideal athlete. At the same time he's supposed to be smart. He's expected to be nearly perfect." --Chandler, 14, from a suburb in the Northwest

"What I hate about this school is that I am being picked on in the halls and just about everywhere else." --Cody, 14, from a suburb in New England

In Real Boys, Dr. William Pollack explored the issues that most boys in our nation face today. In this fascinating follow-up bestseller, Pollack goes right to the source: boys ages 10 to 20-evoking the secret struggles and passions of America's adolescent males in their own words. Their voices are searingly honest and eager to be heard, revealing how society's outdated expectations force them to mask their feelings of isolation, depression, longing, love, and hope. We hear from boys and young men in big cities and small towns-including survivors of the Columbine High School massacre-who share compelling, extrordinarily candid stories about bullying, drugs, sports, school, parents, sex, love, and much more. Pollack also offers ways to start a dialog and illustrates through templates what to do in many situations. This is an eye-opening book for teenage boys and girls, but-with its insights and strategies for dealing with their issues-especially invaluable for all the people in their lives.

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About the Author:

William S. Pollack, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist, is an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, director of the Center for Men and Young Men at McLean Hospital, and an advisor for the National Campaign Against Youth Violence.

From the Inside Flap:

"In my travels throughout this country, I have discovered a glaring truth: America's boys are absolutely desperate to talk about their lives," says Dr. William Pollack, author of the bestseller Real Boys. Now, in Real Boys' Voices, Pollack lets us hear what boys today are saying, even as he explores ways to get them to talk more openly with us. "Boys long to talk about the things that are hurting them—their harassment from other boys, their troubled relationships with their fathers, their embarrassment around girls and confusion about sex, their disconnection from and love for their parents, the violence that haunts them at school and on the street, their constant fear that they might not be as masculine as other boys." In Real Boys' Voices we hear, verbatim, what boys from big cities and small towns, including Littleton, Colorado, have to say about violence, drugs, sports, school, parents, love, anger, body image, becoming a man, and much, much more.

Real Boys' Voices takes us into the daily worlds of boys not only to show how society's outdated expectations force them to mask many of their true emotions, but also to let us hear how boys themselves describe their isolation, depression, longing, love, and hope. How can you get behind the mask of masculinity many boys wear? How can you tell whether a "bad boy" is actually a "sad boy"—and how do you spot the danger signals of depression? How can you grow closer to the boy you love? Pollack explores how to create safe spaces and engage in "action talk," how to listen so a boy will speak the truth about, and be, himself. In the real boys' voices here, boys speak eloquently and truthfully about such topics as shame, bullying and teasing, the pressure to fit in, addictions, how they see the lives of the men they know, the importance of their mothers and fathers, their own spiritual and creative experiences, friendships with other boys and with girls, being gay, and coping with divorce and other losses, including the death of a friend or parent. We also hear what boys from Columbine High School and other places say about fear and violence in their lives. Full of insights from and about young and adolescent boys, William Pollack's Real Boys' Voices is an important, illuminating, and invaluable book, for boys themselves and for all the people in their lives.
From Real Boys' Voices

"        Boys are supposed to shut up and take it, to keep it all in."
        —Scotty, from a small town in New England

"        What I hate about this school is that I am being picked on in the halls and just about everywhere else."
        —Cody, from a suburb in New England

"        Sometimes people say there are two me's, like I have a dual personality. . . . The public persona is not really who I am. It's a tool . . . to be who everyone wants me to be." —Raphael, from a city in the West

"        If you see [abuse] coming, just walk out of the room or walk out of the house or go somewhere, go to a friend's house, go for a walk, take your dog for a run, whatever. Just try to get away from that situation before it actually explodes." —Paul, from a suburb in the West

"        Maybe a couple of times I used to bully some kids. I haven't bullied anyone since the shooting. I try to be nicer to people even if I don't like them." —John, from Littleton, Colorado

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